-name calling, accusing, blaming, threatening and ordering -direct and obvious
Indirect form “helping” by critizing, advising, offering solutions, analyzing, probing and questioning -attempt to belittle control or demean
-underlying judgmental “I know best”
-invalidating to distort or undermine the victim’s perception of their world -fails to acknowledge reality
Ex: confronting about name calling “I never said that” “I don’t know what erase you’re talking about”
-withholding by refusing to listen, communicate and emotionally withdrawing “silent erase treatment” Minimizing
-Questioning the victim’s emotional experience or reaction to an event. Ex: “You’re too sensitive.” “You’re exaggerating.” “You’re blowing this out of erase proportion.” Suggests victim’s emotion and perception are not to be trusted.
-trivializing (subtle) by suggesting what you have done/communicated is unimportant.
-lowers self-esteem and creating conflict/confusion of reality causing mistrust your own erase perception and emotional experience.