Personal Boundaries

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Boundaries: Defining Your Personal Space | Just Say No! | Breaking Free of Limitations | Boundary Struggles | Setting Relationship Boundaries Everyone knows how uncomfortable it is whenever our personal space is intruded upon by another person. Sometimes we are the "intruders" who unknowingly cross over into someone's personal space. We can all do better in recognizing and respecting personal boundaries. Defining personal space within a home or family setting is not always easy. Especially if your living space is limited. It seems unavoidable - boundaries do get blurred. Recognizing when other family members need their personal space isn't always easily detected. Even in the happiest of marriages or partnerships, individuals need alone time. Children also need time apart from their siblings and parents. However, the luxury of having a quiet room or space to retreat to is not available to everyone. But there are ways you can devise to assure respectful boundaries being honored at times when you desire to be left alone to your thoughts, for quiet time to read a book, or needed solitude to delve into a project without interruption. Everyone could be given a KEEP OUT sign to display whenever they need personal space. But, for the sake of being less obvious have each person choose an article of clothing that when worn alerts other family members to keep their distance. You might choose to wear a red bandana tied around your neck, or a favorite baseball cap could be worn on your head. For children you may need to set time limits for requesting personal space. For example, eight year old Sally should not be allowed to wear her "little princess tiara" all day long as a devious ploy to duck out of doing her chores. The same goes for parents, when the kids are doing their homework it would be helpful to make yourself available for possible help needed. College roommates would do well to have a similar "boundary system" in place as well. Everyone needs personal space, including you!

Sexual Harassment: DefinedOne of the unfortunate offshoots of our cultures obsession with sex is problems with sexual harassment. Sexual harassment harms the sexual integrity of teens in their peer relationships. A definition of sexual harassment is unwelcome attention of a sexual nature, occurring through verbal and/or physical interaction. Being a victim of sexual harassment is likely to affect a teens academic performance or work ability and may create a hostile or threatening atmosphere for the teen2. In fact, sexual harassment coming from one teen to another is a type of bullying3. Sexual harassment of teens can occur anywhere ---in middle and high schools4, in the workplace5, and in community. For example, neighborhoods or the internet. Sexual harassment happens not just between the sexes, but also between girls or between boys. Female to male or male to female sexual harassment tends to get worse between 6th and 8th grade, a span of time when teens' bodies begin to appear more sexually mature6. To help define the problem, here are some examples of sexual harassment that teens may be likely to see or experience: continually asking someone out when they have communicated a lack of interest unwanted requests for social or sexual activity

making sexual jokes, gestures, or remarks
inappropriate touching (brushing up against, grabbing, patting, or pinching in a sexual manner) spreading sexual rumors about someone
making comments about a person's body, clothing, sexual orientation, or sexual behavior intimidation (blocking or cornering someone in a sexual way) or assault (pulling clothing off or down, forcing someone to do something sexual such as kissing) inappropriate sexual remarks or questions in "cyberspace" (instant messaging, e-mail, chat rooms) 2, 4, 7 Sexual Harassment at SchoolMost adults/parents may think that such incidents are rare in the lives of adolescents they work with or with their own children....
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